Re: Whee, Greased HedgeHog on Steroids, take 255

Andrew C. Esh (andrewes@cnt.com)
Sun, 5 May 96 16:05 CDT


Bryn Paul Arnold Jones writes:
> > Kernel 1.1.18 was a Greased GroundHog selling Mountain Dew.
> > Kernel 1.3.95 is a Greased HedgeHog on Steroids.
> > Kernel 2.0.(0)0 will be a TurboCharged Chicken doing LSD.
> >
> > If you'd like, I could write a PERL script which will scan the Makefile
> > of your current kernel source code and tell you the proper non-numeric
> > name for that kernel.
> >
> > Maybe Linus want to change some of these names...?
>
> Maybe they sould change depending on where in the devlopmet cycle we are,
> ie if the major patchlevel is a 'stable' release, we have faster/more
> efficent sounding ones, and more iffiy (??sp) sounding, especally in the
> 0 - 35ish set.
> Bryn~
> --
> PGP key pass phrase forgotten, \ Overload -- core meltdown sequence
> again :( | initiated.
> / This space is intentionally left
> | blank, apart from this text ;-)
> \____________________________________
>

To have to 0-35 sublevel numbers equate to rather weak or clumsy
animals, I'd have to produce a list of 256 animals, ranked in order of
apparent capability. Such a list would obviously be the topic of
endless flame wars over the relative merits of each animal. Whole
nations would become inflamed if their favorite indigenous animal was
left off the list. Rather than risk a worldwide nuclear holocaust, I
think I'd rather leave the exact configuration of the Linux Kernel
Name System up to the user. I will, however suggest that the code be
changed to allow the list of 256 animals to be created.

Code? Yes! Two people have joined my development group and have begun
developing code to actually do this. One of them has also posted code
to this mailing list. The first problem that was pointed out to me is
that the use of perl for a tool that is meant to run before the system
is finished booting is disadvantageous. Point taken. The two versions
of the code use sh, or ash, and a few other small tools.

My next goal is to involve a few more developers in the design and
construction of a module-ready "animal driver", to be built into the
kernel. It will handle the maintenance of a subdirectory in the /proc
file system (with the permissions properly set), and will provide
thousands of interesting syslog and console messages about the basic
animalistic qualities of whatever executable you happen to be
running. If you have a sound card, appropriate animal noises will be
played whenever you execute something. I have a few ideas what sounds
Netscape will trigger.

In the networking area, I plan to develop a networked distribution
system for animal config files, message texts, and sounds. Conflicts
between various versions of animal config files will be kept track of
with an SCCS-like source code database. If the system can't
automatically resolve the differences between version deltas of the
config files, a Hot Java version of Internet X-Doom will be spawned,
and the contending system operators will be forced to duke it out.

What my real goal is, in case a couple of you haven't realized it yet,
is to continue to distract the Linux development community from kernel
development. I have chosen this moment, just before version 2.0.0 is
due, to stall and slow the process with meaningless distractions and
diversions. My purpose is to allow the hundreds of programmers I have
working for me in a dark bat cave near Bogota, Columbia time to
release what they are working on: My new Operating System: Buttix96!

It's an exact copy of Linux, with all that nasty GPL Legal stuff taken
out. The entire user interface has been revamped so that the only
shell you can use is wish, and everything is operated through the use
of tcl/tk buttons. Hence the name "Buttix". Our advertising tag line
will be "Don't just sit there! Push a button!".

We plan to market this as a direct competitor of Linux, Windows95,
OS/2, and the Macintosh OS. None of them will survive it.

"The world is one big button, and I'm pushing it!" - me

- ---
Andrew C. Esh mailto:andrew_esh@cnt.com
Computer Network Technology andrewes@mtn.org (finger for PGP key)
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