I was actually going to change it to "The Linux development community," since
there's no "official" development team for the kernel, although there are
prominent developers (e.g., several of the people on this list).
> > announced the release of a new version of the Linux kernel. This
> > update brings advanced scalability and broad support for newer
>
> I prefer "multiprocessor" to "advanced", since it's simpler to focus on,
> albeit inadequately correct.
Press releases are intended to be brain candy, not technical masterpieces. This
is one of the reasons I advocate a shorter, simpler release -- overkill on the
technical details derails the primary message of the release, that being that
there is a major new version of the Linux kernel available. If they want the
details, they can watch the 11 o'clock news. =)
> > hardware, while maintaining the stability and reliability that have
> > been traditional hallmarks of the Linux kernel.
>
> Nice. Drop "traditional". Say "the hallmark"(s).
I don't like repeating "the" too many times in the same space. "the hallmarks of
the Linux kernel" sounds awkward. I agree (if that was your intention) that
"traditional" is somewhat redundant with "hallmarks." I'll think about it.
"...long been hallmarks..." perhaps? Still a bit redundant.
> > Among the new features of the 2.2.0 kernel are **BLAH** [Something
> > needs to be added here that doesn't sound like Microsoft doublespeak.]
> >
> > Many pioneering users have already installed this update, available
>
> Drop "Many". Don't like it anyway - too coy. "The update is now available
> from .."
Agreed.
> > from the Linux Kernel Archive (http://www.kernel.org/). Linux system
> > vendors will begin shipping systems using the new kernel in March.
> > Business users will be able to obtain the update from their Linux
>
> say "regular supplier". "Linux" is repetition.
"supplierS." But point taken.
> Drop "available for perusal.. ". Just give the url as a reference.
> In parens is fine. A footnote is also fine.
I'll give the URL for the GPL, instead of the FSF's URL. The main reason I did it
this was was so I wouldn't have to link deep into the FSF's site.
> > BACKGROUND -- "Linux" is the common name for a series of operating
> > system distributions based primarily on the Linux kernel and software
>
> Drop "primarily". Drop "series of".
I agree with dropping "primarily." I don't agree with dropping "series of,"
because Debian is not the same operating system as RedHat, for instance. They both
use much the same software, but they are fundamentally different.
> > Since the Linux kernel was created in 1991 by then Finnish university
> > student Linus Torvalds, Linux has grown to an installed base estimated
> > at more than 15 million users worldwide. With its 212% growth rate in
>
> Drop "its". Maybe "a .. of" instead.
>
> > 1998, it is the fastest growing server operating system. Among its
>
> "its -> the". Drop "operating"
You've got the "press release voice" down, I'll tell you that. =) I still like
"operating," because "server system" sounds awkward.
> > * An open development model, which enables any user to modify the
> > operating system components and submit patches to the official
> > distribution. This both facilitates the development of new
> > features and enables users to repair problems within hours after
> > they have been located. [This is very awkward. It needs work in
> > delineating the concept I have brought out here.]
>
> No - it's very good. Excellent. Well done. Reference the bazaar paper,
> maybe.
Yeah, though the URL I have is rather long. A shorter one may be in order.
> It's not so bad. You can drop the command line bit - in fact you can
> drop it all. You're trying to say that for the home and office user,
> Linux nowadays comes ready to go with GUIs that extend the desktop
> metaphor with drag 'n drop architectures and seamless network
> access.
Well, what I'm really trying to say is that the system is good both for hackers
and for regular home and office users. I suppose the hackers already know that,
so pitching the command line to them is not necessary.
However, I disagree with the notion that many on this list have that UNIX is a Bad
Thing(TM). UNIX is a good thing, IMO. UNIX is part of what makes Linux so
powerful, and so fun. With GNOME/KDE and LinuxConf, eventually, the details will
be hidden to all but those who want to see them. That's one of the advantages
over Windows: the ability to get dirty with the OS if you want to.
The only argument I'd have for keeping the word "UNIX" out of the release is that
it's a trademark owned by TOG, but if we reference the trademark, I don't see a
problem.
> > * Stability and reliability. Linux machines have been known to run
> > for years without rebooting
>
> PUNTO (full stop).
I disagree the next line is a great swipe at MS. =)
Just kidding. From working at Digital for two summers, I know that the single
biggest thing that annoyed me about Windows NT was the fact that for EVERYTHING,
you had to reboot the system. Change a driver; reboot the system. Change a
setting; reboot the system. Install an APPLICATION; reboot the system! It seems
this is an annoyance that others have noticed and it would be good to capitalize
on it would specifically trashing Windows.
> OK - but should have been footnoted already.
Yes, but it's a nice way to end any release. That's part of the "release voice,"
if you will. =)
Okay, so my revised version follows. Still needs some work. =) I am keeping the
subject the same, so people with killfiles can continue to ignore this.
Kyle
-- Kyle R. Rose "They can try to bind our arms, Laboratory for Computer Science but they cannot chain our MIT NE43-309, 617-253-5883 minds or hearts..." http://web.mit.edu/krr/www/ Stratovarius krose@theory.lcs.mit.edu Forever Free**** DRAFT **** PRESS RELEASE - LINUX KERNEL 2.2.0 **** DRAFT **** **** FORK 1 **** DRAFT 3
Linux kernel version 2.2.0 released
Contact: Somebody Office: Somewhere Email: Something@Somedomain.SomeTopLevel
SANTA CLARA, C.A. -- The Linux developers community has announced the release of a new version of the Linux kernel. This update brings multiprocessor scalability and broad support for newer hardware, while maintaining the stability and reliability that have long been hallmarks of the Linux kernel.
Among the new features of the 2.2.0 kernel are **BLAH** [Something needs to be added here that doesn't sound like Microsoft doublespeak.]
The update is now available from the Linux Kernel Archive (http://www.kernel.org/). Linux system vendors will begin shipping systems using the new kernel in March. Business users will be able to obtain the update from their regular suppliers. As always, the Linux kernel is distributed as Free Software under the terms of the GNU General Public License (http://www.fsf.org/copyleft/gpl.html).
BACKGROUND -- "Linux" is the common name for a series of operating system distributions based on the Linux kernel and software from the Free Software Foundation's GNU Project. Linux is available for most popular computer architectures, including but not limited to x86, Alpha, PowerPC, MIPS, and Sparc.
Since the Linux kernel was created in 1991 by then Finnish university student Linus Torvalds, Linux has grown to an installed base estimated at more than 15 million users worldwide. With a 212% growth rate in 1998, it is the fastest growing server operating system. Among the advantages attracting users are:
* An open development model, which enables any user to modify the operating system components and submit patches to the official distribution. This both facilitates the development of new features and enables users to repair problems within hours after they have been located. (http://www.tuxedo.org/~esr/writings/cathedral-bazaar/cathedral-bazaar.html) [Damn, isn't there a shorter URL for this somewhere?! =) ]
* Usability. Linux has advanced graphical user interfaces, providing ease of use for home and office users while maintaining the power versatility of the command line. [This REALLY needs work, now.]
* Stability and reliability. Linux machines have been known to run for years without rebooting, and in most cases, only kernel replacements -- not application installations -- necessitate such action.
* Maturity. Linux is modelled after UNIX, an operating system with proven stability through nearly thirty years of research and development.
Microsoft engineers Josh Cohen and Vinod Valloppillil, in a competitive examination of Linux (Halloween Document, http://www.opensource.org/halloween.html), write that "Linux represents a best-of-breed UNIX, that is trusted on mission critical applications, and - due to its open source code - has a long term credibility which excedes many other competitive operating systems."
For additional information about Linux, the Free Software Foundation, the GNU Project, or related software, please refer to the URLs listed below.
[Trademark information goes here. I'm not sure what needs to be listed.]
[URLs can go here. Keep it brief.]
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