Next time this happens, try switching both cards in and out of
promiscuous mode ("tcpdump -nl -ieth0" followed by ctrl/C will do). If
that fixes your ARP problem then you are probably seeing the same
problem I got on a Tulip based Xircom RBEM56G.
Starting the Xircom when it is already started stalls the transmitter
and loses frames, this is even documented for the Xircom. You do not
notice with TCP because it retransmits. However if the missing frame
is a setup for the MAC filter then the card fails to respond to its own
MAC :(. Going in and out of promiscuous mode will reset the filter.
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